Today, I'm happy to have Boone Brux sharing a guest post written by the heroine of her new paranormal humor release, To Catch Her Death.
Hi, my name is Lisa Carron and I’m a grim reaper. I know what you’re thinking, wow, that’s pretty awesome. Well, sometimes it is and sometimes—not so much. But I’m here today to tell you why being a grim reaper rocks. There are a lot of great things about this job and I’ve put them into a top ten list. Now, understand this is just my opinion. If you’re a grim reaper, your views might vary from mine. So here we go.
Top Ten Reasons Being a Reaper Rocks:
1. You get to wear black. Let’s face it, black will never go out of style and is always slimming. I’m lucky because most of my wardrobe was already black. I put on a few pounds over the last year and I was in morning. All good reasons to stick with a classic wardrobe win.
2. You meet a lot of interesting people. Sure most of them are dead, but that doesn’t negate their uniqueness. If anything it makes them more interesting. That is until they try to drag you into the Hell. But that doesn’t happen that often.
3. In my case I get to work with some hot guys. Nate Cramer is my partner. Yeah, he’s arrogant and pretty much lives on my last nerve, but he’s got some mad reaping skills. There’s also Constantine. He’s the big boss at GRS, Grim Reaper Services. Even his muscles have muscles. He looks like a dark angel, which he might be. I’m not fully convinced he’s human.
4. Flexible work hours. Reapers don’t work a nine-to-five because people don’t die at convenient times. Just like giving birth. Usually it’s at two in the morning or on a holiday. This does allow me to be at home with my kids more. Maybe too much sometimes.
5. Bonuses. Even though a reaper’s pay isn’t exorbitant the bonuses for reaps make up for it. The more you reap the more you make. I think it’s their incentive program.
6. Pay. Like I said, it’s not much but we do get paid. Unlike that show, Dead Like Me where the reapers had to squat in dead people’s houses and get other jobs. It’s the only reason I took the position. But it’s not the only reason I’ve stayed.
7. Benefits. Grim Reaper Services not only provides bonuses, but they also have in home daycare if I need to go out on a reap. A private doctor. A gym, which I’ve yet to utilize. Support staff and the high tech gadgets. My phone can do things I never dreamed of. I just wish it could clean my house.
8. Exercise. I’d been sedentary until I took this job, but no more. I even had to run after a few ghost. Before that, the last time I ran was 1993, when I almost missed the bus. I know if I stick with this job I’ll get in shape, whether I want to or not.
9. Knowledge. Even though I can’t tell anybody about being a reaper, just knowing the supernatural world exists and that I’m a small part of it is pretty awesome. I might look like a fluffy hockey mom, but in reality I might be your worst nightmare. Or best, depending on what kind of life you’ve lived. So behave.
10. A higher calling. That’s the other reason I’ve stuck with this job. Being an angel of death carries a lot of responsibility—universal obligation if you will. If I didn’t do it somebody else would, but why not me? I’ve got the skills and the desire, so I decided to stick it out. I’m really hoping it earns me some brownie points in the afterlife.
To Catch Her Death
Grim Reality Series
Genre: Paranormal Humor
Publisher: Red Hot Publishing
Date of Publication: Oct. 2013
ISBN: e-book – 9781938601118
Print - 9781938601125
Number of pages:250
Word Count: 60K
Cover Artist: Jennifer Meyers & Hot Damn Designs
What do you get when you cross a hockey mom with the grim reaper? Me, Lisa Carron.
If being a depressed, frumpy, widowed mother of three wasn’t bad enough, I just discovered I’m a grim reaper. I know what you’re thinking. Wow, that’s kind of sexy and full of awesomeness. Hardly. Oh, and my clients? Stupid people. Like I don’t get enough of that from the living.
Since Alaska is big and angels of death are few, I’ve been partnered with reaper extraordinaire, Nate Cramer. He’s strong, silent, and way too good looking for my recently widowed state. Oh, and he reaps violent criminals, so that should be interesting.
Forget the danger and the hours of self-analysis it will take for me to find my reaper mojo. My biggest problem? Hiding it all from my overly attentive family and nosy neighbors. Now that’s going to take a miracle.
“You’re not welcome here.” He took a step forward and I slapped my hand against the wall, blocking his path with my arm. If he was a grim reaper then maybe he couldn’t enter my house until he was invited—like vampires. “Be gone.”
He smirked. “I’m not a vampire.”
“I know you’re not. There’s no such thing.” I rolled my eyes, trying to give the impression I hadn’t totally been thinking that. “What do you want?”
“Give me ten minutes. Then I’ll leave and never bother you again.”
It sounded too good to be true. “Never ever?”
He didn’t do any kind of scout’s honor hand gesture, so I didn’t know if I could completely trust him. “Ten minutes.”
In that amount of time, he could have me sliced up and vacuum sealed, but what choice did I have. I spun and walked into my kitchen. The idea of he being a grim reaper was the lesser of two evils made me want to laugh. Not in a haha, ironic isn’t it way. But a deeply disturbed things keep getting weirder and weirder way.
His footsteps followed. I cursed myself. He’d probably leave big, stupid dirt marks all over my sparkling floor. I scooped up my glass and turned to face him. My upbringing forced me to offer him a drink. “Would you like a glass of wine?”
He held up a hand and shook his head. “No, thank you.”
Hmm, very polite—for a killer. I pulled out the chair and sat, indicating he should do the same. I sipped slowly, wishing it was something stronger. “Okay, speak.”
He lowered himself into the chair and propped his elbows on the table, leveling a stare at me. “You are a grim reaper.”
“So you’ve said.” I took another drink and set down my glass. “Are we done?”
“Hardly.” He eased back and sized me up, his gaze narrowing. “All right then, you explain what happened at the Holiday station this morning.”
I considered giving him Vella’s explanation, but those reasons sounded even more ridiculous than reaping a soul. I decided to change tactics. “Let me ask you this. Why do you think I’m a reaper?”
“We recently lost one of our own and you came on our radar as the next reaper in line.”
“Lost one of your own?” I didn’t like the sound of that at all. “You mean one of your reapers died?”
He shifted in his chair. “Yes.”
“That’s a bit ironic isn’t it? The angel of death dying.”
He shrugged. “We’re mortal, tools for the greater good of mankind.”
I refrained from telling him how much of a tool I thought he was. “Isn’t the grim reaper immortal?”
“You watch too many movies.”
That was true but I didn’t confirm his statement.
About the Author:
As a bestselling author, Boone Brux’s books range from high fantasy to humorous paranormal.
A former nanny, Boone has lived all over the world, finally settling in the icy region of Alaska, where she writes full time. Always looking for the next adventure, it’s not unusual to find her traversing the remotest parts of the Alaskan bush. No person or escapade is off limits when it comes to weaving real life experiences into her books or blogs.