Today's challenge is to show 'Voices' in 400 words or less. Being a fantasy writer, I have a lot of strange voices in my writing, so I had many selections to choose among. My favorite is from a WIP entitled Illusions of Intimacy. It's a time travel fantasy romance, one of my favorites, but waiting its turn for time to be finished.
Immediately after making love, the heroine, Ula, witnesses her lover's death. Voices in her mind plague her with the decision to run and save her present mortal life without him, or to allow the wolves to kill her so she may reincarnate and possibly find him sooner in the next life.
~ ~ ~
While still united, lost in our love, the window glass shattered. Shards flew as missiles, slashing our exposed skin. Myriad pieces clinked across the stone floor.
The wolf from last night, along with two other grays, emerged from behind the curtain of broken glass.
“Sandulf!” I screamed.
With no time to get to his feet, or transform into a wolf, the three overpowered my lover. His eyes filled with terror. “Ula, run! Keep the pearl. It will help protect you.”
How could I leave him after a century apart? Lost in confusion, I remained motionless.
The leader tore at his side.
He screamed in pain, turned his head to me, and growled, “Go! They sense our union, strengthening our spirit bond and power. I'll find you.”
As I turned, the three closed in and gashed his skin with their canines. His blood spattered the rug where we just loved. His screeches shivered my spine while I sped out the room, along the hall, and down the spiral staircase. I only paused at the heavy main doors, my eyes scanning the foyer, wishing for some clothing. A cloak on a nearby rack served my purpose. I flung it over my shoulders and ran into the sunlight.
I ran with all my strength through the woods surrounding the estate and into the neighboring fields.
Their howls pursued.
I reached a dirt lane and continued with aching legs.
Yet the howling drew closer.
My legs burned.
The wolves outmatched my endurance.
I willed my legs to keep running, while my mind separated from the numbness in my limbs. My thoughts slipped into reverie. Why am I running? Why am I leaving my lover? I still hear his screams in my mind. Why not die his death, be united in death? Feel what he feels? Our souls will live another life. Our white wolf spirits will sooner find each other. A real life, rather than stolen fragments. Our bliss. Stop now…and share his life, his agony.
WC=332
14 comments:
Hi Marsha, I was so looking forward to your entry and you certainly didn't disappoint. What imagery! What a lot of thought you've given to finding your own words for description rather than using tired cliches. I know it's hard when using an extract to find the right place to start so it's not hugely disjointed, and you've thrown us straight into the action.
I loved this entry for Voices.
Denise
You got good points there, so I always love your blog, it looks like you are an expert in this field. keep up the fantastic work, My friend recommends your site.
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Hi Marsha, I enjoyed reading this piece and the idea behind it, making the wolf and vampire lovers. Loved the voices at the end. :O)
Hello Marsha.
Definitely a vivid adrenaline rush.
Love the intrigue at the end.
Wow, this is thrilling and moving. I want to read more. This world sounds very interesting, with the ability of these lovers to find each other in new bodies!
A very enjoyable piece, it's wonderful all the imagery one can squeeze into 400 words or less!
Hard to not stay and fight for her soul mate and to run away knowing he is going to be ripped to shreds as she runs.
You captured the mood so well. The fear, doubt, the bloody carnage her lover faced.
A very enjoyable read.
Hi,
I get this completely... It's wonderfully descriptive, fast-paced yet enough emotion to catch the moment of forced separation. After all, a man spent from making love is at his weakest most vulnerable moment. The wolves would have sensed this and seized their chance! Even a man in valiant death can shout commands to a loved one to make their escape, it is that very sacrifice that brings forth the hero from within. Lovely piece of writing. ;)
best
F
Dear Marsha,
Nice to meet you!
That's quite a text-snippet!
Your fantasy-text about the wolves and time-travelers is very exciting, well-written and makes me curious about the rest of the novel.
I do think that Donna has some good advice that you may want to think about.
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna's Romantic Friday No 13 - 'Voices'
I'd love to read more - that sets up a really tragic internal conflict. If you knew, really knew, you'd be reunited in death with a loved one...would you join them? Thought provoking.
A lot of emotion in this piece - terror, loss, grief. I guess it is the grief that tells her to stop in the hope of an early reunion.
@Denise -- Thanks much! It was a fun topic to work with.
@Anonymous -- Thanks for your interest in my blog!
@Madeleine -- Glad you enjoyed it!
@Andy - Glad you caught the adrenaline! I felt it while writing and hoped it would transfer.
@Ruth -- Glad you enjoyed the concept of their unusual relationship involving reincarnation.
@Babyrocka -- Thanks! There was a lot happening in that scene!
@Daydreamertoo -- Thanks! Lots of emotions going on in a short space. Glad they came off well enough for you to catch them!
@Francine -- Thank you! It is heroic that he wants to spare her, and unselfish, since her death will speed the time until he will be able to see her again.
@Anna -- Thanks for your interest!
Hi Marsha,
I nearly cried whilst reading this. Gosh, what can i say? To be torn from your lover just after making love and then having to watch him die? Heartbreaking.
I dread what's to come but I hope it's a happy ending for the lovers.
Great piece! Great voice.
Cheers,
Kiru
Hi Marsha, I'm back for the second time judging for the Featured Writer. I read this again just for enjoyment. It's such a great snippet, so powerful.
There is a discussion on-going on the RFWer site. Would appreciate if you would drop by, leave a comment and vote. We need your input!
Here's the direct link:
http://fridaynightwriters.blogspot.com/2011/08/weekly-wrap-up-voices-challenge-no-13.html
Thank you
Denise
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